Tonight

Tonight, for the first time in 6 years (counting pregnancy!), I will sleep away from my son.

Tonight, I kissed him goodnight in someone else's house, got in my car, and drove away.

Tonight, my son will go to sleep (likely all hyped up on junk food) in a room with 3 other little boys, probably amidst much giggling and silliness, but without my voice being the last one he hears before he drifts off.

Tonight, I will keep the phone close, hoping it doesn't ring. But also hoping it does.

Tonight, my sweet Ethan asserts his independence in a whole new way.

Tonight, I remember the many years of wakeful nights, wondering if this child of mine would ever sleep a solid night through (he didn't until he was 4.5!), and I marvel that this same child is at a sleepover.

Tonight, I think of his face, alit with anticipation of today. "Sleepover Day!" I think the sheer excitement almost took his breath away when we pulled up to his friend's house.

Tonight, I will not only be up and down with my OTHER sleepless baby, but I will probably spend some up and down time thinking about my "big" baby. How far we've come. How proud I am of him. How lucky I feel to be his mom. How he is with a family who cares deeply about him and told me, "Thank you for sharing him", as I left.

He's going to have a blast!