A milestone for Ethan, that is. He's been invited to his very first sleepover. He's terribly excited. It's at a home he has been to before, the home of another little boy from church, who is 5. And two other 5 year olds from church have also been invited. The mother of the boy whose house it is at is so open and giving and all-embracing, and loves "kid chaos". Well, 4 5-yr-olds, plus her other 7, 3 and 1 year olds, and she's bound to have a bit of chaos on her hands. Bless her. Wouldn't be my cup of tea.
I found myself in a bit of an emotional dilemma when she phoned and invited him. Ethan has never spent the night away from me. Not that I don't think he could have in recent years, but the situation has never arisen, and, personally, I've never wanted him to be away, nor to be away myself. It's just always felt "right" that I am with my children at night. This isn't an afront to parents who do leave their children, I can totally understand needing that "break", but it just hasn't happened in my own family.
My gut was to tell her "no". But I knew that was not the right thing to do. As a parent, I feel it's my job to prepare my children for the world. To be as attached and give them all the security they need as infants, toddlers, young children, so that they can go into the world, feeling secure, knowing they always have a place to fall, and knowing that they can accomplish anything. Now, I know, it's just a sleepover, he's not heading out to research a cure for some horrible disease, but this is a big step for us. This is a big "leaving the nest" sort of thing. To me, anyway.
I told her that I would talk to Ethan about it. His face lit up and he could hardly contain his exuberance about the possibility. We explained what a sleepover entailed and he just got more and more excited. The sleepover is Wednesday. Tonight is Monday. He made sure, before he went to sleep, to order the days in his head, so he knew which day was tomorrow and that Wednesday follows.
He knows he can come home if it's too much for him. We live only 5 minutes away. Colin is certain Ethan will be fine. Me, well, think of me. I'm having all sorts of panic in my gut. This will be the longest we've ever been apart, he and I. And at night. Breathe, Krista, breathe. He's in extremely good hands.
I feel silly. This isn't something most parents get anxious about. So, I will continue to breathe. And pray. And let go of my beautiful son, to go have a fun, overnight adventure with his little buddies.
Colin thinks we should send Silas, too, so we can actually sleep. ;)
3 comments:
Oh Krista I can relate...though Grant has had many sleepovers wih our cousin who lives next down and it really is just right across the drive. He spent the night there on Friday and I swear I was up half the night worrying. What if he got up and tried to walk back over in the dark? What happens if he gets scared? The list went on and on. I knew he'd be ok but I still worried ALL NIGHT LONG. I felt like crap when I got up on Saturday but he arrived about 11:30 as bright and bushy tailed as possible. I felt silly for wrorrying and my husband told me I was silly for worrying but still it's a mother's worry!
((((HUGS))))
I too can relate Krista!! Tyler's not going anywhere overnight until he's 30!! Hang in there! And I like Colin's idea about sending Silas!! With all the other kids who are going to be there, what's one more??!!! BIG HUGS!!!
But Krista, did you ever think when we met on the NCSS board that it would even be a remote possibility that Ethan would even want or be able to sleep away from you? How times change!
Personally, my girls have stayed overnight with grandparents occasionally since they were about two. Sleepover invitations with school friends were a big issue when Emily was a first grader. It seemed to be a big thing for that age and she received several invitations. We always said "no" because we felt she was too young and that we didn't know the families well enough. I think that was the right call. We did have one school friend come to stay with us that year, which seemed to alleviate the social pressure. She's now done two sleepovers with friends we know well (including one we met through school) at ages 9 and 10, and we hosted an American Girl sleepover party for her tenth birthday last fall.
So anyway, I can relate to both sides of your feelings. I agree it's important to let them grow up and gain independence. And since you don't have grandparents nearby to let him stay with, this sounds like an appropriate opportunity. However, I think any of Laura's friends' parents would be crazy to invite Laura and 3-4 more friends to sleepover at this point. I doubt she'd ever go to sleep; it's already a huge issue when my girls and my sister's kids are all staying at my folks' house (with the moms present). We have to put the four kids (ages 5-10) down in shifts or none of them will go to sleep. This process can take 2-3 hours--it's ridiculous and usually results in a very cranky Laura the next day!
Anyway, good luck to you and Ethan both!
Deborah
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