Lost

I briefly lost Ethan today. We were at the library for storytime. Afterwards, we always look for books. He was busily pushing the stroller around, and I could see him out of the corner of my eye, while I searched for books about whales (his latest interest). I found one, and turned around and he wasn't there. I scanned the entire children's department and started looking over the shelves. It is HIGHLY unusual for Ethan to leave the area I am in. One of the staff saw me looking around and asked if I lost someone. I said yes and she started helping me look. We walked down the ramp into the general part of the library just as I heard this announcement over the library speakers, "Would Krista, mom of Ethan, please come to the front reception desk?" (Oh my, just writing that has me teared up right now).

Then, I saw another staff member escorting Ethan and our stroller toward me. I was just in a stunned state. He has never, EVER walked away from me. The staff member he was with said he was going "a mile a minute" with the stroller. I'm sure he had a blast flying down the ramp with it. Until he realized I wasn't with him.

I bent down to his eye level and calmly said he must not ever go where Mommy is not with him and can't see him. I told him it scared me when I couldn't find him. He had a bit of a stricken look on his face and I asked if he was scared. He nodded. (Oh, my poor baby!) Then I asked if he was alright. He said no. I could have just wept. I sat down on the floor right there and just held him for a very long time.

You must understand something about Ethan. He is not a fearful child. The only thing he is truly fearful of is dogs who get too close to him (the history behind that is another long story), but he is just not scared of anything else. He really has a sense of security and safety around him. But my baby was scared today. And I was, too. (Okay, now I'm really crying). It really does happen the way they say, in the blink of an eye, your child has disappeared.

On another note, I'm extremely proud of him. I don't know whether he approached a staff member or they approached him, but he was assertive enough to tell them his name and MY name, too. I told him that was such a good thing he did, telling them that.

I think he and I need some extra snuggles together today.