Moving

I did say I was going to post about this, didn't I? I've been at a point that feels beyond exhaustion lately, so bear with me.

We are moving again! After 13 months of house-searching (for a rental, we're still not in a position to buy - we think we'll buy our "starter" home when the kids are grown and it's just me and Colin again. Haha!), we finally found one. This has been the hardest, most discouraging house search ever. Our city has lots of rentals. And they're mostly crap. The ones that are good (newer, renovated) are in really seedy areas of town, and in the areas we have wanted to live in, the houses are dumpy and/or overpriced. Well, not all the houses, clearly, as these are nicer parts of town, but rentals really are lacking. And of course, they can charge this much because they KNOW people want to live in these areas. And then, of course, there are a ton of crappy ones in ALL areas. Most of them, actually.

13 months!! We looked for 13 months! Our original reason for looking was that this house we're in is SO cold in winter. Unbearably cold, really. And then to heat it is almost impossible, because of the way it's built. It really starts affecting your quality of life when you're always cold and always struggling to keep warm (and pay the enormous bills as a result!). This house has a ton of character and is big (enormous really, for us) and beautiful, but we have come to learn that those are NOT priorities in New Zealand. Warmth is. So, we are moving to a completely character-less house, that is half the size, more contemporary, windows and doors without gaping gaps in them, and will be SO much easier to heat. It's also in the area we like, closer to Colin's school, and just generally feels safer.

You know, there's a real difference between a house and a home. In the 10 years we've been married, Colin and I have moved 10 times. Most of those places felt like "home". A few haven't. But we only spent 3-5 months in those kinds of places. This time, we've spent 17 months in a place that has just felt like a big, giant house, a place to put our stuff, nothing more. And before this, we spent 4 months at my in-laws', which also was lovely, but not "home", obviously. And it has really hit me in the past 2 weeks, since we gave our notice, we are finally moving "home".

This new house just enveloped us as soon as we walked in. It felt cozy and homey and "right". It was what we've been hoping and looking for for 13 months. And I wonder how life will change. I wonder how almost 2 years of not being "home" has really affected me. My kids. My husband. I feel like once we're there, I can breathe a giant sigh of relief. A sigh that I've been waiting to breathe since August, 2007. Wow, that's a long time. I realized the other day that I've never come to this house and felt that feeling that you get when you walk into your home. A sense of comfort, a sense of relaxation, a sense that you're in "your" place. I don't think this occured to me before. Or maybe God protected me from the feeling because I would have drowned in it. A wife and mother who purposely stays home and purposely homeschools and makes her life revolve around her home and family cannot feel that way and stay sane. And so I didn't. But now? I've never been so anxious to move and 3 weeks have never gone so slowly. I cannot get in there fast enough. Thank you, God, for providing. Thank you for giving us our home.

Official moving day is next Saturday. Hooray!