We fit so nicely in the wooden cut-out picture. Most of these funny cut-out things have 4 openings, I've noticed. I guess the makers have the "ideal" family of 4 in mind; Mum, Dad, son, daughter.
I think my family is awesome. It's been the 4 of us for over 3 years and it works. Sometimes I wonder what this family would have looked like as a family of 5, the way it was "supposed" to be. I put "supposed" in quotes because, in life, who really knows what is supposed to be or not. God knew my family would never consist of 5 members. But if I think in human terms, if a couple has 3 children, they are "supposed" to be a family of 5.
I can't quite picture it. I really can't picture it with the-person-who-used-to-be-my-husband in it. My mind does not ever wander or even want him in it. I'm so much healthier without him. And I can't exactly picture it with an imaginary father in it. How would things be different? My oldest son remembers living with a dad. My second son cannot remember it, but goes only by what he's been told. But he does know that his dad lived with him. There are photos to prove it. There are photos of that "perfect" family of 4. My daughter has no concept of a daddy. She doesn't know what a daddy is or does or what he's supposed to mean to her. Daddy is a face on the computer once or twice a week who talks to her about mundane stuff. And she shows him her toys. And sometimes she doesn't feel like talking to him at all because, really, she has no emotional connection to him whatsoever. It's neither here nor there for her.
What would life have been like with a daddy? What would my "family of 5" have looked like? I don't know. And it doesn't exactly plague me, but I just sometimes wonder. My children are becoming more and more shaped by having only one active parent. This is not necessarily a bad thing. They are reasonably behaved, well-rounded kids. I work pretty darn hard at making their lives as stable as possible. Rory, especially, is shaped by having only had one parent in her life. There is a different balance in a household with children when parents are together. Two parents carry the load and carry the responsibilities and the children respond to them in a different way. I know this, because for a short time, I lived that life, too. I know how my boys were when they had two parents. I wonder what Rory would have been like with two. I wonder how her personality would be slightly altered. I wonder what life would be like if I didn't have to teach her that mummies and daddies are meant to be together.
As I said, this doesn't plague me. I'm so happy with the family God has given me. I'm so happy that it is not defined by who is or is not present. I'm happy to spend a day, taking goofy photos in a corncob cut-out, and that, lucky for us, there just happen to be 4 holes for each of our heads. I don't dwell on the fact that there "should" be 5 in this family. That is a blessing and a gift. My family is exactly what it should be.
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