Answered prayers

Two years ago, I wrote some of the following in a personal journal:

Why, oh Lord? Why such agony? Why such pain and sin and ugliness? And what will come of it all? Divorce? Devastation for me and my children (and ultimately Colin)? Poverty? Or will there be hope? Will there be restoration?

Of course, God doesn't answer the "why"s.  He doesn't usually.  But the answers to the rest?  Divorce?  "Yes," he says, "but, my precious child, I will never leave you, nor forsake you."  Devastation for me and my children?  "Not forever."  Poverty?   "I will meet all your needs."  And he has.  And then some!  Hope?  "Oh yes!"  Restoration?  "I am restoring your soul."

 Holy Spirit, move! Move mightily. Please.

I prayed that in regard to changing Colin's heart.  I begged and pleaded for a miracle.  I didn't get THAT miracle.  But I've experienced more miracles in the past two years than I have in my entire life.  The Holy Spirit has moved mightily in me.  I barely recognize the person I was 2 or 5 or 10 years ago.  I was merely surviving.  I was NOT opening myself up daily to the Holy Spirit.  I was doing a lot of praying, don't get me wrong.  Praying that something in my marriage would change.  Praying that God would get a hold of my husband's heart.  But not immersing MYSELF in the word of God or in my Saviour. 

And here I am.  Reading agonizing words that I wrote while I was in the most agonizing pain.  And God HAS answered those prayers I prayed.  Not the way I prayed them, but answered all the same.  And I am at peace and content (and even joyous somedays) with the answers.