I didn't have one moment today where someone wasn't whining at me. Not one. The moments where all 3 were whining at the same time were especially "special". But in looking back at my day, there was one moment at dinner that I actually laughed out loud. God sent that moment, I think, so I wouldn't think this day was a complete wash.
Ethan asked, "What does dread mean?"
I started to explain and then tried to use it in an example and asked him if there was ever anyplace he didn't want to go.
He thought for quite a long time and then said, "The florist?"
"The florist!!??" I said. "Why wouldn't you want to go to the florist?"
"No," he said. "FOREST! Because it's scary." Another long pause. "What's a florist?"
Now I was completely cracking up. I explained what a florist was and how I was wondering why he wouldn't want to go to a flower shop and we both laughed.
That one moment helped redeem this whole day. Just barely, but we made it.
Tomorrow, I go for my second counselling session. I like my counsellor. I'm praying (continually) for healing, but also that this counselling will speed it along. Yes, I know. I can't speed healing. It has to happen in its own time. In God's time. But I do believe he gives us tools to use that help us get there. I need to heal! I need to get out of this sickening emotional limbo I'm in.
Emotional limbo!!! It just came to me today! I've been feeling like my life itself is in limbo, but I couldn't figure out how to get out of it, but I think today I realized it's not my actual life that I live day to day, but my spirit, my emotions. I am in limbo. I grieve and mourn for the hopes and dreams I've lost and while I would never in a million years take that man back, I'm also not in a place where I'm happy to be moving on and getting my own life. Limbo. Emotional limbo. This actually gives me a whole lot more peace with the day to day life I live. I'm okay where I'm at. I'm walking in God's will. It's my heart. It's my spirit.
Oh, dear Jesus, heal me!!! You came to heal! Heal me!!
1 comment:
And He will heal you. You can be sure of that because He is in the healing business.
Praying for you -- and that your family will have more joy moments. HUGS.
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