Friends

I've been pondering this post for awhile. Not thinking about my friends, but Ethan's. Moving from Victoria was difficult for all of us. I was only starting to feel like close friendships were forming. It took 2 years! And while my heart hurts about that, it hurts even more for my son.

Ethan loves his friends. I don't even think I can express how much he invests in and cares for his friends. Even at a young age, I noticed this. His first friend was Chiara, in New Zealand. She was 6 months younger than him, but even at the age of 1 and 1.5, they formed a bond. At first, it consisted of simply running. Yes, running. They would run and run and run together in the large room we had our playgroup in. Any time they saw each other, Ethan would say, "Run?" and off they'd go. It was the sweetest thing. Neither of them really attached themselves to other children, but they were glued at the hip. We left NZ when Ethan was 2.5, Chiara was 2. They had long passed the stage of only running and loved to play almost anything together. Once back in Canada, my baby was so sad. For so many months, he'd ask to play with Chiara, and he kept a picture of her beside his bed and would often be found carrying it around the house.

In Victoria, his first friend was Lukas. Lukas and his family attended the same church as us. The first time I had coffee with Lukas' mom, the two boys hit it off. I hadn't seen Ethan so happy in so long. They became two peas in a pod. Ethan's loyalty is terribly fierce and he expects the same from his friends. That is difficult sometimes, as preschoolers don't always think that way, but most of the time, they were thrilled to be together and their joy in each other was very evident to others. Since moving, Ethan has talked about Lukas almost every day. He misses him a lot! He loves to look at pictures of him on Lukas' mom's Facebook page. Ethan loves to make and send cards and Lukas was one of the recipients. Recently, we heard that Lukas also tried to make a card for Ethan, but was too distraught and emotional to actually do it. Knowing that Ethan's friends care as deeply for him as he does for them just melts my heart. And breaks it at the same time.

Ethan's 3rd best friend is Dante. We only met Dante this year, shortly after Silas was born. Again, another bosom buddy. I can always tell when Ethan meets a friend, whether it's going to be close or not. And Dante was. We met with some other moms at a park every Monday afternoon. Dante and Ethan were the only ones who weren't babies and they just reveled in each others' presence. Dante was usually more than happy to follow along Ethan's line of imaginative thinking (I think they were mostly pirates). And they were both disappointed any time the other couldn't make it to our Monday meeting. This week, Dante (with the help of his mom and dad), made the sweetest video, which he sent to Ethan. Ethan's face lit up as he watched it. To hear his buddy tell him he wants to play with him, and he loves him, literally brought tears to my eyes. Oh, how blessed my son is to have friends who sincerely, deeply love him. That is a gift from God.

And how my heart breaks that he's had to be ripped from his friendships. How many times will this happen to him? He is different here. We meet with other kids at church and a playgroup here, but no real friendships have formed. I mean, we're only here for another 6 weeks. But my soul feels his loss. I know he doesn't know how to put it into words, but I feel his intense longing to just play with another child. He tries. Len's step-granddaughter comes to play and Ethan is over the moon. He introduced himself to a little girl in a store the other day and her mother looked downright offended and dragged her away. Ethan's face just sunk.

Today, he talked about how his little teeth would fall out someday and big ones would come in. He has a book that talks about making a wish when your teeth fall out. He said, "When my little teeth fall out, I'm going to wish for my friends. I miss my friends in Victoria." I'm crying now, just writing that. Oh, dear God, please don't allow my little boy to be harmed for life because he has to keep leaving his friends. Please protect his sensitive heart.