This is Shamus. He was a youth leader at our church for several years, including last year, Ethan's first year in youth group. Ethan really took to him, and in turn, he also really invested in Ethan. I honestly didn't know him well. I only knew how much my son talked about him. I knew that every time he saw us at church, he would come over with a smile, and make sure he got a little conversation in with E before we left. I knew from other people who worked in youth ministry, that Shamus was a kind and mature young man, firm in his faith.
He was baptized in our church and his testimony told of a hard childhood. It told of a young man who floundered, but finally found his footing away from a more legalistic upbringing.
This photo was taken at a youth retreat our young adults put on for the kids last June. E came home from this retreat full of inspiration and fun stories. One such story took place on a dock on the lake, being rocked back and forth by exuberant kids, and my boy slipping and falling in. In a flash, Shamus had pulled him out. I don't believe Ethan was in danger of drowning. He can swim. But we joked that Shamus saved his life.
He was baptized in our church and his testimony told of a hard childhood. It told of a young man who floundered, but finally found his footing away from a more legalistic upbringing.
This photo was taken at a youth retreat our young adults put on for the kids last June. E came home from this retreat full of inspiration and fun stories. One such story took place on a dock on the lake, being rocked back and forth by exuberant kids, and my boy slipping and falling in. In a flash, Shamus had pulled him out. I don't believe Ethan was in danger of drowning. He can swim. But we joked that Shamus saved his life.
Shamus moved away last summer. E was pretty sad. He doesn't get close to many men and men don't tend to invest in my son. It's hard to be "left" when you have abandonment issues. In September, E received a two-page, handwritten letter from Shamus. It was beautiful, full of encouragement and mentoring-type stuff. It is rare for a man, a young man, to take the time to write such a letter to a 12 year old boy, showing Christ-like love and care for him and his family.
And then, the unthinkable; this week, we learned that this ever-smiling, caring, generous, sweet young man was tormented in the deepest part of his being, and could bear it no longer. He ended his life. We are broken, my boy and I. I hurt that this wonderful young man was in so much pain. I hurt that my son has to deal with issues that are so much bigger than any child should ever have to deal with. Today was rough. There will be more rough days to come.
Shamus, you will be so missed. There are so many who loved you, including a devoted and earnest 12 year old boy. We will never forget you. When I think of you, I think of you exactly as this photo portrays you. Ever smiling. Ever open. Ever kind. Rest in peace, dear Shamus.
And then, the unthinkable; this week, we learned that this ever-smiling, caring, generous, sweet young man was tormented in the deepest part of his being, and could bear it no longer. He ended his life. We are broken, my boy and I. I hurt that this wonderful young man was in so much pain. I hurt that my son has to deal with issues that are so much bigger than any child should ever have to deal with. Today was rough. There will be more rough days to come.
Shamus, you will be so missed. There are so many who loved you, including a devoted and earnest 12 year old boy. We will never forget you. When I think of you, I think of you exactly as this photo portrays you. Ever smiling. Ever open. Ever kind. Rest in peace, dear Shamus.
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