Yes, I've been ignoring my blog. Something about adding another person to the family does that. Let's see if I can get something written while Silas sleeps and Ethan is busy getting dressed. Left on his own, Ethan can take ages to get dressed, so I may have some time. And Silas sleeping could also be tentative, so we'll see.
Silas is a month old tomorrow. Wow. I'm already nostalgic about him growing up "too fast". He was weighed and measured at the midwife's yesterday. He's almost 2 lbs heavier and 3 whole inches longer than birth. 3 inches! My tall boy! My midwife is so pleased with how healthy he looks and is. He's really doing wonderfully. I told Colin last night how amazingly blessed I feel to have two such healthy boys. Why are we so lucky when so many parents are not? And I've been overwhelmed more than once since Silas was born that he is here! All the months of worry that we would lose him, like we lost the two before him. And here he is, in my arms. Thank you, God!
Adjusting to two kids has been harder for me than I imagined it would. I find my patience level pretty low when dealing with Ethan. I've been told by many friends to be gentler with myself as we go through this transition. But I like to be "perfect". Haha! I'm finding it difficult to get into new routines. How do I find time to clean my house when I'm holding a baby 90% of the day? How does one go grocery shopping with two kids? I see people doing it, so I know it's possible. I've learned to let some things go, but waiting for a new "normal" to emerge is really hard. And emotional. I could just sit and weep many days. Or sleep. After 4 years, I've completely forgotten the foggy haze of the newborn days. Not so easy to "nap when the baby naps" with a busy 4 year old around. Some things help. Silas is ALMOST smiling, which thrills me. I am sure he half-smiled at Ethan today. He stares at Ethan constantly. It's pretty clear how much my boys love each other. What a thing for a parent to see. And after an impatient day with Ethan, he ends up melting my heart by "burping" and even "nursing" his cabbage patch doll. "I'm Mommy," he says. Man, I love that kid.
We'll find our way. I'm sure of it. We can't thank our church enough for providing us with so many meals. If anyone would like to come clean my bathroom, they're more than welcome. Haha! Just kidding. Sort of.
2 comments:
It's good to see an update from you! Your little one is growing WONDERFULLY! I lost two between my girls and know the amazing miracle feeling of holding a baby after loss, sadness, etc. I can understand all you're saying, and I think, finally, after 3 children, one with an illness, I have let go of about 1/2 the expectation of perfection. Give yourself time, but most of all, just be who you want to be. As for cleaning with a baby, my Bjorn worked wonders with both girls. That's great you had some meals! Hugs!!
My friend who has four children told me going from one to two was actually the hardest as the work triples not doubles. I can now see what she means there definitely seems to be 3x the mess and it seems to take 3x as long to do anything. Hang in there it is early days yet and it will improve. So glad you are all well and Silas is growing strong.
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